If Koli and Oli asked…

If Koli and Oli asked that day: “What is the shortest month of the year?” – they would not hesitate to answer: “Honey” Only four months after it started, when Oli finally for the first time there is a need to dress (at least in the output), video with Nicky stepped out of her Dorm room, holding a piece of crepe de Chine, bought the young to the wedding together all students and teachers of Armenian College and went to the ladies ‘ tailor’muter that day, nick knew that his wife was the most beautiful woman in the world, she knew exactly her husband is the most noble and intelligent man, and both of them did not know ladies ‘ tailor], so without hesitation, pushed the button of his doorbell. – cried the tailor, opening the door for them – Well, finally! – cried the tailor, like Ludwig van Beethoven, what a brilliant musician draw on the portraits of that period of his life when he is much older – You see, Roxanne? – continued Perelmuter, turning to someone in the depths of the apartment – Among other things, that customers! And they still came! And you told me once that after I four years ago made homemade bonnet for Madame Lesogorskoe, I will not come any sane person! – We to you about the dress – began Kohl’s – We were told – I Hear you, Rima?! – interrupted him Perelmuter – told Them about the dress – I’m Well, thank you, Lord! So, there on earth are normal people And then I thought that everything went crazy and Only heard about: “Cardin!”, “Dior!”, “Lagerfeld!” Who is this Lagerfeld, I ask you? – boiled, tailor, stepping on nick, Think it suits the Queen! No, please, if you want your wife in her young age looked the same as it looks now the Queen can go to Lagerfeld! We can’t go to Lagerfeld reassured tailor nick – So it is your great happiness! – in turn reassured his tailor – Because, unlike Lagerfeld, I still really can make your wife the Queen And not some English there! A real beauty Queen! And now for work But first one last question: do you know what dress? Silent! Don’t answer Now you tell me: ruffles, tucks Nonsense! May Lagerfeld Dress is a different Dress, young man, is primarily a piece of material, designed to close women all what we’re losing, and open it all, what we win you see my point? For example, ladies beautiful feet Means that we sew her something very short and thus win on the feet Or, say, she have ugly feet, but a beautiful bust Then we sew her something long That is close her legs But opened the bust to emphasize it and win already on the bust And so on to infinity Well, in this case, the tailor looked at Olga, – in this case, I think we generally do open will not, and will, on the contrary, sewing something very strict, absolutely closed from the neck and to the soles of his feet! – That is how it is “completely closed”? they live with Kohl’s – And what are we going to win? – On the coloring! – joyfully exclaimed the tailor – These crimson parrots on a green background, which you brought me, in my opinion, very cute! And, grabbing his sartorial meter, he began deftly to measure Olya, something writing in a notebook – No, wait, – said Kolya, – I do not quite understand! What do you think that in this case we already can’t open it? Here, for example, legs Than you don’t like? Are they, in your opinion, too thin or too thick? – At what here – replied the tailor, not looking up from his work – Is here in this case? Legs can be thin, could be thick In the end, different women have different feet And it’s good! Worse, when they are different one – what-what-What? – was taken aback Kohl’s – Can we get out of here? – asked Olya – No, wait, – stopped her husband – What are you talking about, dear? How is it different?! Where?! – And you look, – said Taylor – can’t you see that right leg of your charming wife is much more massive than the left It is more muscular – Really – looked Kohl’s – What does that mean, Olga? Why I about it did not say anything? – What is there to say? – embarrassed she is Just at school I did a lot of jump in height, Defended the sports honour of the class And the right leg I got a shock there. – triumphantly cried the tailor – And what I’m saying! Left leg she has a normal Human And the right it is clearly visible that she had No shock! This defect must be closed! – Well, let’s say, – said Kolya – And bust? And this defect too – too? Why? I, on the contrary, it seems that her bust can we in this case, as you say, much to win So I don’t understand why it won’t open? – You see, young man, ‘ said Perelmuter, – if my place was not a tailor, but, for example, the sculptor, to your question he would have said so: before opening any sort of bust, it should at least set Think in this case we have the same problem but do not worry! Just think, a bust! Believe in the power of the human imagination! We should properly drape fabric even what we have now, and the imagination of men easily be finished under this cloth is what mother nature in all of its power to create not And this applies not only to bust Take, for example, her face to Me, among other things, it was always very sad that such an invention of the ancient Eastern designers such as burqa – So are you offering to put on her burqa? – scared nick – I didn’t say that – nick, – said Olga, let’s go – wait! interrupted her husband, ‘ I Should like, in the end, to understand Listen uh don’t know your name-patronymic well, with the bust you have convinced me I now see But if we try to win well, on her thighs? – What do you mean? – interested in tailor – what, You expect them to open? – Well, why, can, how you say, to emphasize to Do some tuck – It can be, – agreed tailor – before you let me underline where you see her thighs, and then she will do a tuck And, actually, young man, stop jerking me around with his silly advice! You own business already did You got married Then you consider your wife the greatest beauty in the world is Now my task is to convince at least a few people and you miss, too – “let’s go, let’s go”! Want to be beautiful – be patient! All work For today finished Fitting four days later, four days later, the tailor Perelmuter met Kolya and Olya directly on the stairs his Eyes sparkled – I Congratulate you, young men! – he cried – I haven’t slept in three nights But, you know, I do understand, what in this case we will win but colors, of course Do! Yes, not all the Right foot we have, of course, shock, but the left-it is a normal Human! Therefore, I propose a section along the left side of the so-called mid-thigh to the floor you Know? Now imagine the picture: a Sunny day, you and your wife walking down the street In her new dress with slit] And everyone is happy! Others – because they see a luxurious the left leg of your spouse, and you – because they don’t see her less than spectacular right! In my opinion, brilliant! – Probably – sour agreed nick – I Hear you, Rima! – cried the tailor in the depth of the apartment – And he still doubts! After a few days she came to pick up my dress without the If – But where is your worthy husband? asked Perelmuter – We split up – sob Olya – it Turns out that Kolya did not expect that I have a number of shortcomings Oh! said the tailor, inviting her to enter it, ‘said the tailor, helping her to fasten is really very beautiful and very reaching her dress – by the way, I like this your ex-husband just did not like us, ladies’ tailors, in this respect the trained eye will Think the flaws! You now, probably not eighteen now, don’t jump a year or two in height – and both legs will be exactly the same As the hips and bust in the presence in our city market “Privoz” In General, trust me, after some time, you still have to come up with his shortcomings Because, frankly, we men, women’s advantages only admire And we love you I don’t even know why Maybe just for the shortcomings of my rimmy, for example, their was a huge amount that’s Probably why I still love it the same as on the first day of Dating, although it has been ten years since there is no in this world – How can it not be? I was amazed Olya – who is it you then all the talking? – With her, of course! And with whom else? And you know, this is the main thing I wanted to tell you about your ex-husband If a man really loves a woman, he won’t be able to break even such a serious matter as death. Not what some half-crazy tailor And Perelmuter, Rimma, am I right? Hear, silent agrees, So I say right… Georgy Golubenko

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